Such Great Heights…

The reception was held on the 43rd floor. This is me, looking from such great heights.

The thing about the nomination that I did not expect, was that it really was like winning the statue.

I honestly don’t expect to hear my name called tomorrow.

I stood in a room today of amazing, beautiful, some shy, some self-assured, brilliant, practical, dreamy women, and had an enormous epiphany of “I’m not worthy.”

Or maybe it was more, “Oh dear heavens, they are ALL worthy!”

Or maybe it was, “I’m a teeny little star in the sky– but look! I’m a twinkling damned star!”

Heidi Cullinan, Lynda Aicher and I–the three M/M writers who were nominated in different categories for the RITA. Our grand “cabal of 3” as Heidi called it 🙂

I don’t know. I know a lot of people have congratulated me in the last three days, and every time they do, I feel like there’s someone else behind me.

I also know that I got to congratulate Sonali Dev today, who wrote A Bollywood Affair, and I told her that when I taught high school many of my East Indian students would say, “But there’s nothing in the library for me.”  Even though I no longer taught school, I was so glad there was something in the library for them, something award winning and happy.

Mate and I went out to dinner after the reception. He loves this place: “Great food, good music, and they’re playing Cartoon Network in the background.” I love Mate.

Tonight, I was walking through lobby-con, and I saw Sonali again– I had Mate by my side, and I introduced him, and she glowed at me. “My husband is coming tomorrow, and my best friend flew down from Chicago tonight. Isn’t that insane?  I have already won!”

And right there I found my RITA equilibrium.

My best friend may be here for me in spirit, but my Mate is here, and I have people in my corner. Just like Sonali, I have already won.