|The reception was held on
the 43rd floor. This is me,
looking from such great heights.
The thing about the nomination that I did not expect, was that it really was like winning the statue.
I honestly don’t expect to hear my name called tomorrow.
I stood in a room today of amazing, beautiful, some shy, some self-assured, brilliant, practical, dreamy women, and had an enormous epiphany of “I’m not worthy.”
Or maybe it was more, “Oh dear heavens, they are ALL worthy!”
Or maybe it was, “I’m a teeny little star in the sky– but look! I’m a twinkling damned star!”
|Heidi Cullinan, Lynda Aicher and I–the three M/M writers
who were nominated in different categories for the RITA.
Our grand “cabal of 3” as Heidi called it 🙂
I don’t know. I know a lot of people have congratulated me in the last three days, and every time they do, I feel like there’s someone else behind me.
I also know that I got to congratulate Sonali Dev today, who wrote A Bollywood Affair, and I told her that when I taught high school many of my East Indian students would say, “But there’s nothing in the library for me.” Even though I no longer taught school, I was so glad there was something in the library for them, something award winning and happy.
|Mate and I went out to dinner after the reception.
He loves this place: “Great food, good music, and
they’re playing Cartoon Network in the background.”
I love Mate.
Tonight, I was walking through lobby-con, and I saw Sonali again– I had Mate by my side, and I introduced him, and she glowed at me. “My husband is coming tomorrow, and my best friend flew down from Chicago tonight. Isn’t that insane? I have already won!”
And right there I found my RITA equilibrium.
My best friend may be here for me in spirit, but my Mate is here, and I have people in my corner. Just like Sonali, I have already won.