Predictably, we’re late…
Mate: Sum of Us?
Me: Politics. Or charity. Or sort of both.
Mate: Got it.
Mate: Avaaz?
Me: Politics. Or charity. Or sort of both.
Mate: Right.
Mate: Vistaprint.
Me: Work.
Mate (to self): Advertising…
Me: Sure.
Mate: Tarot.com
Me: Self-medication.
Mate: Lots of those when your books come out.
Me: Do I SEEM less neurotic?
Mate: I could make a case, but no. Not declaring it. T-Fury, Tee-Spring, Zazzle…
Me: I was seduced by the internet.
Mate: I can’t declare that. Project Trevor?
Me: Charity.
Mate: Mod-Lily, Roaman’s, Women Within…
Me: Uh, clothes?
Mate: Work related…
Me: Just not the pajamas.
Mate: That’s a uniform.
Me: Fine. Work related.
Mate: Loopy Ewe?
Me: Self-medication.
Mate: Ah.
Me: Wait! No! I made things! Work related things! We can declare those! I have pictures! There were blog posts! It’s… uh… public relations!
Mate: Yarn. As advertising.
Me: Sure.
Mate: $280 in Kansas City?
Me: Uh… oh! The thing! The thing! I went to the thing!
Mate: *.*
Me: Uh, the uh, panels and people and cosplay and Robert Silverberg and…
Mate (to self): Conference…
Me: Yes! The thing!
Mate: Sure. This guy here? Who’s name I’ve never heard of?
Me: You’ve heard me talk about him all the time– that’s Andrew Gordon.
Mate: Sure. This guy here?
Me: We know him too. That’s work.
Mate: And this?
Me: Yeah, we know him too. That’s advertising.
Mate: I don’t know any of these people.
Me: You’ve met them all!
Mate: Under different names. It’s not my fault.
Me: Of course not. What else?
Mate: One more T-shirt company.
Me: That was after the election–self-medication.
Mate: I’m not declaring that. Corbin Fisher?
Me (without batting an eyelash): It’s research.
Mate: Is Adam and Eve research?
Me (blushing): Uh, no. That’s an, uh, personal expense.
Mate: Unbelievable.
Me: It’s cheaper than Xanax.
Mate: Word. I’ll leave you alone now. Go do your job with a computer and a blank page.
Me: Sure.
So, see? Taxes.
