Ten random things about me that you will probably wish I’d kept to myself…
1. I almost graduated from college with a masters degree instead of a BA because, although I had 20 units more than I needed to graduate, I had too many units in English. They had to re-name a graduate English course in sci-fi as ‘humanities’ in order to get me to squeak through.
2. Including my present job, I’ve held 8 jobs. I’ve, uhm, been fired from three of them. (Me?)
3. Mate and I were eighteen when we met, 19 when we started dating, 20 when we moved in together, and 21 when we got married. I’ve been sleeping with this man for more than half my life, and I still totally resent the fact that the cave troll keeps trying to sleep between us.
4. Our ‘clean pile’ of laundry is approximately 2 1/2 feet x 3 1/2 feet x 6 feet–that’s more than a cubic yard of laundry. I haven’t seen the rug in that room since I was on maternity leave with our youngest child.
5. I’ve named two of my children after knight’s from Arthur’s Round Table, one of the girl’s from a fairy tale and the other one from Lord of the Rings. If they ever change their names in rebellion, it’s going to be to something like “James” or “Mary”.
6. I’ve saved every response the yarn harlot has ever sent me from her blog. I’ve saved a number of e-mails from you people, too–I don’t take friends for granted.
7. When I was seven years old, I came home and found that my stepmother had cooked the pet rabbit for dinner–it was a Bohemian dish called ‘Bomachke’. Dad and I hadn’t actually eaten meat for MONTHS (we lived on Top Ramen)…it wasn’t bad.
8. I’ve owned a cat (of one sort or another) since I was three.
9. When I was Ladybug’s age, my dad used to party with Ken Kesey and the Merry Pranksters.
10. I have the world’s crappiest, most schizophrenic, weirdo, hard-to-read, psychotic genius handwriting of anyone I have ever met. When I was in high school, I wrote a 24 page epic poem that RHYMED and I made five people–two of them distant relatives that I’ve met, like, three times, read. You will never know my shame.
11. One of the worst things I ever did that I never told mom and dad about until later was go out into a storm when I was supposed to be staying with my crazy friend Wendy because it was too wet to go out into the worst fucking flood of the last 25 years. (1986–look it up.)My crazy friend Wendy kept horses at friend’s house, about six miles from where she was working as a nanny. A boatload of unfortunate horses were drowned at the nearby fairgrounds because no one had let them out of the stalls, and she panicked and HAD to go check on her horses and there we were, driving her big blue mercury lemon into water so deep, the lamas at the nearby Snooty Lama company were swimming over the damned fence. The Mercury Lemon died, and we had to walk three miles to her horses–I was in my bare feet (having worn dumbass-kid shoes to school that day). You don’t know who your friends are until you drag each other three miles in thigh (or waist–she’s short) deep water singing songs from Miami Vice.
12. I”m really bad at math. (But you knew that:-)