The Long Way Home

 Love Yaoi-Con.

LOVE Yaoi-Con!

Adore it.

People dress up–and look stunning.

People play.

Gender roles aren’t a thang. At all.

And everybody’s happy to be there.

So Ms. Rainbow up there was the first victim of my newly crappy camera (weak-shit, thy name is Microsoft Lumia, I’m not even playing.)  She was lovely, and I was so happy to land her!  Next up was our lady of the CROCHETED PANTS AND TIE! *shudder*  Yarn. You see? You SEE?

Ms. Keela and her lovely wonderful fantabulous family were next. You see that baby? Venona Keyes flirted SHAMELESSLY with that baby, and now they are soul mates. Seriously– Keela got to go to Yaoi-Con with her family for her birthday–from ALASKA. How wonderful was that?

The other group up there was a Yaoi I don’t recognize–but Chicken sure did. She was SO excited because they were only one person shy. I was so impressed that they got six people to dress up!  (BTW– there was a group of ACTUAL stewardesses with a pilot from Japan Air at the con. People kept thinking they were in costume–they were very confused.)

We also have here the lovely Ms. Liz–wearing her Harry Potter corset with her lightning bolt lipstick. I adore Liz– she’s a YC staple, and her costumes are many and glorious!

Our lovely pirate here is Ms. Edie, who came to visit me last year and pick my brain. THIS year she came to tell me she finished her VERY OWN NOVEL and I could not be prouder. You GO Ms. Pirate– you are fierce and powerful, and I adore you!

And Warboy and Max deserved a picture because… dude.

As did my beloved Ro and Andy, dressed from Nightvale and about to go to Arby’s. Now, for those of you who read Bitter Taffy, Andy did lend Ro to me for a scene with Darrin. Darrin was depressed they didn’t get to meet in person, however, Ro got to brag as he came by the booth. “I am too in one of her books!”  He was indeed, because that much awesomeness cannot be contained!

 Now here we have this lovely thing– a set of ear cuffs with stars and roses on them, which I am giving to Chicken AND Squish. You heard me– they are splitting a set of cuffs.  I have to tell you all, the cuffs are the most ingenious things– they are lightweight, they stay on reasonably well, and they’re ADORABLE! Yes, I got one of my own, why you ask?

And the inimitable Ro– up to no good on Sunday, as he should be 😉  Liz as well– I guess today was a day for villains, right? Well, either way, they were both delicious.

But Yaoi-Con cannot last forever– because if so, I’d still be there from my FIRST one back in 2010. I eventually made my way back to reality– and there is nothing more real than the heinous backup on the stupid bridge. Dudes. Ugh.

I sent those pictures to Mate, so he would know I was alive but at a two hour standstill. Traffic eventually started moving, but I was forced to pee and drink some coffee shortly after the bridge.  Of course, an hour and a half later, when I was two miles from home, I had to get rid of that coffee, and God! When did McDonalds start putting in the toilet for customers only?

It was the SADDEST thing, because I screeched up to the McDonalds and launched myself out of the front seat. As I was running, a disabled panhandler came up to ask me for money.  Now usually I’m polite, even if I have no money, but in this case I just shrieked at the poor man, “I’M GONNA PEE MY PANTS!” and ran inside the store. Of course, when I got there, I realized I needed to buy something to use the facilities, so I made it up to the counter doing the peepee dance.

“Can I help you?”

“I’d like three cookies and a bathroom key please?”

“Sure, but they’re unlocked.”

I swiped my card. “Leave the cookies on the counter then, I’ll be back.”

I finished my business and grabbed my cookies to run outside, and the poor panhandler was still there. Now, remember, I just got back from Yaoi-Con. I have NO cash. None. I tried to give the guy cookies as I was trotting to my car but he put his hands up like I was the devil feeding him brimstone, and I broke back into my “two miles form home” sprint and apologized for having no cash, even as I was starting the car.

I wonder if all of this makes me a terrible person?

Anyway, I got home, was mobbed and mugged by Squish and Zoomboy, licked and chewed on by the dogs, and finally, Mate and I got a moment together.

Remember– he’s been on his own through a Bowling for Soup concert, soccer Saturday, and taking the two kids to a Republic game on Saturday night.

This picture was as good as it was going to get.

But I don’t care.

I’m just so glad to be home.