You knew it was going to happen. It’s happened before, but usually not because of a slip of the tongue, and it happened again. My day job and my moonlighting job clashed badly. The good news was, no one who heard it happen knew it for what it was.
The word was ‘turgid’ (okay– yeah, it’s an accident waiting to happen, I see that. Usually I’m in control of those things, though.) Anyway my definition was, “Swollen and full”–as opposed to “flaccid”, right?
So I’d already cracked the dirty joke, it was all good. But even I was not prepared for the definition to change while I was giving the quiz. Yup, folks, according to my third period class, “turgid” now means, “swollen and aching”.
Schwing!
And in Squishie news…
Squishie’s trying to con the social worker. You think I’m kidding? I went to pick her up and her day care provider showed me a picture that she’d colored while the social services provider who monitors day care was there. It’s a bright, happy picture–lots of colors, lots of movement.
“What do you want this picture to say?” the social worker asked pleasantly.
“Mom, come get me.”
Seriously. Are you shitting me? This kid is in daycare for 5 hours a day MAXIMUM, and she’s giving ‘pitiful me’ thing? And this kid would EAT ME ALIVE if she stayed home. This is a ‘let’s burn the place down before I get bored kid’. Day care is the only reason she’s survived.
“Squish,” I asked suspiciously, “were you playing that nice lady who painted with you.”
And here’s the scary part. “Me? Play with the lady? MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…”
I’m not joking. Be very, very afraid.
Today I got there and she was keeping the other little girl out of the doll cabinet. Why? Because she had a rubber band suspended between the cabinet using a doll’s neck. She was plucking the rubber band with a spoon, and calling it her guitar.
“Tell Guilietta you’re sorry,” I told her. “You are not the queen of daycare, you don’t get to monopolize all the toys.”
“I’m sorry, Guilietta,” she said dutifully. “And I AM the queen of daycare.”
*shudder*
OKay–I’m working on a ‘Green’s Hill’ story for Dreamspinner. No one get too excited, this is a total experiment. It is SO hard to cram in 4 books worth of backstory into a 20K novella, but I had a small, simple story that would work SOOOOO well when played out against the epic love of Green, Adrian, Cory & Bracken, so I’m giving it a try. If I fail? Meh– no big loss. I’ll file it with the Adrian story and the others percolating in my brain, and eventually release them as an anthology. But for right now, I”ll just be happy for Whim and Charlie, and keep writing to break my own heart. It’s usually a contagious sort of condition.
