Unfortunately, my foot’s still attached to my ankle.

Okay–I seriously violated the 4F’s of foot care–I’m Fat, over Forty, Flat-Footed, and on Mother’s day, I wore Flip-Flops. In doing so, I must have seriously pissed off Fungus, the minor god of Podiatry, because I am in some serious, mojo-busting pain.

It has improved a little since yesterday–I’ll give it that. Yesterday, after sitting at my desk, I moved my foot to stand up and address the students and my vision went white. I’ll give it to you–that hasn’t happened again today. No, today, I just had the Cave Troll running around the house singing “crap crap crap crap crap” because he heard me say it when I had to stand up. Unfortunately “crap crap crap crap” was better than what he was singing when I got him into the baby-sitters–I wonder how many kids are going to be running around singing “shit shit shit shit motherfucker sonovabitch holygods shit!” by the end of the day. (That could be an overstatement–all he was was chanting was “shit shit shit” but Dueant knows, that’s only because the rest of it was too rushed for him to hear.)

The students (and my older kids) are amazingly nice about it. My older kids waited on me last night–and so did my husband. Actually, it was Mate, bless him, who got an ice-pack from the freezer–he does have some experience with running injuries. I’m embarrassed to say I didn’t think about the ice pack part–must tell you, it was MAGIC! It was so magic, I woke up this morning thinking life was all better.

The gods laugh their asses off when we think shit like that, don’t they?

Although, it was funny–the Juniors are doing a comparison/contrast of an old work with a new work, and one of the new works I just heard was from Lil Wayne–it has sort of a haunting refrain (and a disturbing message, but we’ll skip my rant on that for a moment) but the refrain goes “Oh mommy, when the drugs go, I feel like dying.”

Uhm. Yeah. Blessed tylenol. Cursed two tab limit!

And that’s it. It’s a drive by whining–sorry about that! I swear, tonight, I’ll dredge up some pictures and just post them for the hell of it–no words, no whining, no neurosis–just cute pictures of my darlings Ladybug and Cave Troll. It’s the blog post that can’t go wrong.

And in the meantime, I’ll leave you with this: Have you ever thought that you could order a diet cherry coke at a bar by calling it a ‘skinny virgin’?

Oh. Really? Only me, I guess.

0 thoughts on “Unfortunately, my foot’s still attached to my ankle.”

  1. Em says:

    That sounds painful! I always forget that flipflops are not always my friend for the first few weeks of summer and optimistically wear them for day trips, only to come home with blisters. And hey, I’m slender, under forty, and have high arches. I think it’s a universal thing.

  2. TinkingBell says:

    It sounds a bit like plantar fasciitis – I had it a couple of years ago when spending lots of time standing barefooted on tiles! (I too am 40+, fat, unfit – but I have very high arches and insteps – it apparently hits both ends of the spectrum – it’s worse when you’ve been sitting of when you try and get out of bed in the mornign and better if you move around for a while – I thought I was going to die of the pain – try standing on the edge of steps and stretching your heels down to the next step – helps heaps!
    Poor petal!

  3. Galad says:

    Ouch – poor feet. Hope it is better soon. It is amazing how long the day can be when your feet hurt.

  4. Louiz says:

    ouchies on the feet… I can’t wear flipflops anyhow because I’m convinced I’ll get blisters within 2 minutes of wearing them.

    And yep, skinny virgin is funny:)

  5. roxie says:

    Oh, yeah Skinny virgin. And c-ck teasers would be cherry tarts, right?

    Owie feeties. Poor baby! (Don’t worry. I’m sure Cave Troll has heard those words before now.)

  6. Catie says:

    Oh dear, it might have been a drive by whining but it made me laugh, which I am always in need of – but seriously I think only a comedian might not need an extra laugh. The 4Fs… precious.

  7. Donna Lee says:

    I have been judicious in my flip flop wearing for the same reasons (except one of my F’s is fifty). I forget they have no support because my feet are so happy to be free!

  8. No skinny virgins at bars. I have my own personal brewery. And at times, I get distilled stuff as well.

    Hope the ankle is better.

  9. Turtle says:

    lol at the skinny virgin! Ouch on the feet. Epsom salts…great stuff! (i get paid to play with feet!)

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