We All Know I Took Both

So, packing for LA tonight and wondering how another Disneyland trip managed to sneak up on me when I’m fatter than ever.  That’s okay though– I’ve told every mother I know that we’re having dinner in the park, and to a one, they got big dreamy smiles and unfocused eyes:

 “You’re eating dinner in the park? No cooking? No cleaning? No getting ready for family?”

I, uhm, think I may have tapped into fantasy gold here.  I’m saying. The idea of a Thanksgiving dinner that is not labor intensive apparently floats everybody’s boat!

So, that’s coming up, all the ruckus to get ready has me turning circles– and can I just say?  I’d like to give my kids’ school district the big raspberry for the thinnest school month ever.  I mean, February used to be the big “lost” month, but November? They had three days off last week, this week has been half-days and teacher conferences, and next week is a vacation. Dudes. When do they go to school?

That being said, apparently my kids are doing pretty good when they’re there.  Squish is pretty much on grade level–for fourth grade.  (You may recall, she should be in third grade this year.)  Anyway, she’s probably going to be able to skip right into fifth next year. so, uhm, go Squish!  (She has an obscene number of tardies– so does Zoomboy. I keep expecting to get SARBed, but the teachers are apparently so excited about nice kids who make no trouble and get all their jokes that they’re like, “Fuggedabouddit!” Which is awesome, because that’s the kind of teacher I was. I’m like sometimes, karma is not a bitch!)  And ZB is pretty much the same– his only slow part (as in, he’s with all his peers, but he’s ahead in everything else) is writing strategies, and we figure this is because writing is so difficult for him (he has long fingers and awkward fine motor skills) that by the time he’s written the first sentence, he’s forgotten what he was writing.  I had the same problem when I was writing with pen–and when I wrote fast, my penmanship– oi! So I suggested letting him keyboard and the teachers were all on board with that, so yay!

So to celebrate teachers, I’ve got this link here, because it’s BEYOOTIFUL and because it says everything Orwell or I have ever said about political writing and how it butchers both language and reason.  (And before anyone thinks I’m too liberal here, I will tell you this– I actually DID this with one of the Democratic fundraising e-mails too, and there was just as much red ink, which is why I stopped getting them.  Political idiocy transcends party. For reals.)

Teacher Grades Republican’s Congressman’s Paper

Now, some of the kid pictures I have here are from ZB’s bday party, which I didn’t talk about yet, but suffice it to say people came, our house was more or less as clean as it ever gets, lots of sweets were consumed, and ZB got presents.

And we all celebrated my ZB, which is pretty awesome. Also? I got his room clean.  I mean, not me personally because they take away your mom card if you can’t delegate, but Dad and the kids all got his room clean with my nagging, planning, and prompting.  We bought a new area rug and then, genius, a beanbag chair. He’s suddenly in love with his room again.  The room itself has more space to play, and suddenly, our house is bigger.  It’s… amazing.  *fantastic shudder*  Dudes. I can’t make this shit up.

Also this week, (did I mention it was sort of a busy week, considering we’re packing to be gone all next week? DID I? *pushes panic back into the box*)  were the soccer banquets.  Squish’s was held in an indoor soccer arena, and I guess it shows what a NON- competitor I am that I’ve never seen the point of “Hooray! We lived through soccer season! Let’s go play indoor soccer!”  Squish was not impressed either. But she got her medal, and everyone pronounced her most improved and, as is very Squishlike, the hardest worker and most cheerful presence on the team.  God, I love my Squishy.

ZB’s soccer banquet was notable because Mate had to talk and tell all of his players how much they improved and how proud he was of them, and then the team mom got up and said a few words about Mate–and she was so grateful.  Everyone was. It’s funny. When you’re young and stupid, and you assume winning is everything, you don’t anticipate standing in a room with a regular guy, lots of gray hair and a shy smile, and being grateful to him, because he didn’t try to teach your kids how to win, he taught them how to play.  Every parent in that room knew how special it was to find a soccer coach who had only that one thing in mind.  The fact that in our first year the closest thing to victory was a tie, and this year, we done a few, lost a few, and tied a few, says a whole lot about how far you can bring kids by just teaching them the fundamentals of the game and telling them to play with their heart.  And, of course, I’m proud of ZB too.

And other awesome things about Mate–

He actually found me a reason to play video games.  See?  Video Game Romance Scene (With Freddie Prinze Jr’s voice!)  Seriously.. hot Inquisitor action is hinted at here. Be wary.

And he took me to the King’s Game, where, as a friend suggested, I imagine all the guys with their clothes off and call it work.  Given that I just wrote about our guys Xander and Christian HERE on Amber Kell’s Blog and have been flirting with the idea of a sequel for the last year, I’m thinking she wasn’t far off.

And for the rest of my blog?

Well, my daughter destroyed my Tyler Hoechlin dreams by sending me this picture of the usually STUNNINGLY attractive Teen Wolf actor with a porn-stache– we’re hoping he’s growing it for Mo-Vember (a charity movement) and that it won’t be there for long, although, I can say I’ve never seen Bob of Bob’s Burgers look sexier.

However, along with the killer of dreams photo there, she also sent me a link to some Out of Control VERY naughty NSFW Sterek  which I’ll share with you.  Because porn reasons. Uhm, enjoy.

And so to leave you all–and hence get my ass in gear to pack– I’m going to give you one last meme, and this one proves that sometimes, in the political arena, Picard might just edge out Kirk.  If nothing else, I’m pretty sure he kicks ass.