Well, filk you too!

I was filking around on the amazon.com forum again, and this came out! Enjoy!

Ode to a pet

My dog is getting hella old
My kid’s rat has a big lump
The old cat likes to sleep on me
The young cat likes to jump
We’ve had fancy mice and guinea pigs
Dead hamsters, rats, and fish
But every kid since time began
Has always had one wish.
Oh mommy won’t you buy me
Or borrow, beg or steal…
I’ll clean it’s poop, I’ll brush it’s fur
It’ll never miss a meal.
Mommy won’t you get me,
Promise you won’t forget,
All I want for my birthdays ever
Is a cuddly-wubbly pet.
A year’s worth of books has holes in them
From the hamster that lasted a day.
We’ve got feral cats in the garage
Because they didn’t want to play
We’ve had fishies in your underwear,
The cat’s belly, and the floor.
(If they’ve been these places for any time
They’re really not fish no more.)
The old dog decided to retire
She sleeps in the house now.
And grumbles when we trip on her
As we walk over her flat pillow.
The old cat begs for fancy food.
The new cat like to bite.
All cats avoid the rodent graveyard–
That place is crowded at night!
We wouldn’t trade them for a million bucks
Although that’s what they cost.
And on the day (that sad, sad day)
We all know what we’ve lost.
They’re happiness and sadness,
Mortality and joy.
And every pet’s the bestest yet
For each responsible girl or boy.
Oh mommy won’t you buy me
Or borrow, beg or steal…
I’ll clean it’s poop, I’ll brush it’s fur
It’ll never miss a meal.
Mommy won’t you get me,
Promise you won’t forget,
All I want for my birthdays ever
Is a cuddly-wubbly pet.
My nephew had a tarantula,
My cousins had turtles and snakes.
My daughter prefers vermin–
A rat a good pet makes!
Some kids prefer geckos,
Some like crocodiles or mice,
But a thing to give unconditional love
Is unconditionally nice.
Oh mommy won’t you buy me
Or borrow, beg or steal…
I’ll clean it’s poop, I’ll brush it’s fur
It’ll never miss a meal.
Mommy won’t you get me,
Promise you won’t forget,
All I want for my birthdays ever
Is a cuddly-wubbly pet.