Whew– That was close!

Mate and I try not to be bad parents.

We don’t shelter our children, but we don’t expose them to too much sex and violence on television.
We talk respectfully of everyone except politicians. (Most notably the racist, fascist, bigoted fucker in the White House, because we want them to know that facts matter, and this idiot wouldn’t know a fact if it pissed on his feet.)
We don’t let them hang out online with anyone who says the F-word more than mom.
We don’t watch horror movies or porn or anything that’s going to give them nightmares while they’re in the same room. 
We generally try not to desensitize them to the big mysteries of adulthood while not letting the big scary things be a smack in the face like a dead fish, either.
So, tonight, when we were watching @midnight, and young Mr. Hardwick was pretending to take two cocks at a time, we changed the channel. Also, because Mate had checked live feed for the show and saw they were discussing Santa Claus, and he didn’t want to pay for therapy bills that way either. 
Mate changed to the Simpson’s marathon.
Where we watched a parody of Run, Lola, Run, a commercial for a KY product that made it so you don’t have to imagine your grandmother to stave off orgasm, and a commercial for Adam and Eve Adult Toys and Lingerie. 
Fuck it. 
I’m just going to have him watch The Hangover, Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, and Superbad this weekend, and then they’ll know everything, including what not to do with a ping-pong ball!  

It’ll be a lot less work. 

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