Whew– What a week?

So, we’ve been planning this trip for a year–and it all started when my friend Berry Jello said, “We should go to Disneyland together! I think we could stand each other for a week!”

Well, I still adore her, but I gotta tell you, that was one rough week.

On Friday, when I bailed early because the noise and the crowd and the rides were just all too much, Chicken said, “Geez Mom, you didn’t bail the last time we did this!”

Oh yes. I totally did.

I remember it very clearly.

Thanksgiving morning, Mate had a plan–they were going to run from ride to the ride and get fast passes at strategic times and basically have a non-stop Disney experience.

I slept in and met everybody for dinner at three o’clock.

They were all psyched–I had zero regrets.

Ten years ago, we only did two days at Disneyland and one at Universal Studios–I don’t know if Mate knows this, but I cried quietly all the way to the hotel. Theme parks are… well, they’re fun, but they’re sort of the anti-me.

Well, this time was… harder. Not just the years, and not the extra twenty pounds I’ve added since then. (Yes, I know I’m bigger than that–but the twenty pounds are the last five years.)  It was that there were NO LINES. So, we ran from ride to ride in a never ending progression. Frankly, I’m used to waiting in line, appreciating the ride, taking a breath, figuring out where to go next–but I was with fanatics here. Berry Jello, Mate, and Chicken walked into the park with apps intact and ready (and no–my phone was not up to the app) and they ZOOMED from ride to ride.

On the one hand, they literally hit every park we went to at top speed, and that’s pretty cool.

On the other hand, I was exhausted. And even if my legs and feet didn’t ache, my stomach was cursing at me the entire time.

So yeah–I bailed midway through Friday. I enjoyed my stay, but damn. Everything hurt and if I had to hear the piped in music rotation at the park entrance one more time I was going to cry–and that was no fun for anybody.

My family and my friend and her family had a blast–and so did I. But I was reminded of who I have never been–and that’s a theme park person. That’s fine. We can really only afford to go there once every five years anyway–we’re going to be paying this off for ages.

So I love the pictures here, and I loved this vacation. But I am SO glad to be home with my dogs and my quiet home and life. And the kids are so grateful for their time at Dizzyworld–it was time well spent.

That I’ll appreciate even more after a little more sleep.

But I do have some good stories to tell–I’ll stick to three.

The first is that we all dressed for Stranger Things on the first day–and all the kids (including Berry Jello’s) wore pajama pants on the third. (We hit DisneyLand, Universal Studios, California Adventure, Downtown Disney, and DisneyLand again, Monday through Friday. Downtown Disney was our “day off” because we went food shopping and didn’t do any rides. So they wore their pajamas to California Adventure.)

But the day we were dressed for Stranger Things Chicken and ZoomBoy were dressed in “Scoops Ahoy” outfits, like Steve and Robin, and Mate was dressed as Hopper, and Squish was dressed as Eleven. Anyway– the first thing that happened when we walked into the park was Chicken and ZoomBoy getting their picture taken with Donald Duck–and that amazing salute, complete with ZoomBoy’s tooshie wiggle. ADORABLE.   The second thing that happened was really hilarious.

We hit the Haunted House ride–which is decked out for Nightmare Before Christmas, and we went and got our picture taken with Jack and Sally. They looked at Mate and said, “And what’s your name, sir.”


Jack was wearing a mask, but you could see his head tilt back. “So, we’re in character. Got it.” And then he asked the rest of us– and we all gave our character names. I was wearing a Barb T-shirt–and if you know the show, you know she died in like, episode three of season one.

Anyway, I said, “And I”m Barb!” Because I look JUST LIKE THAT CHARACTER.

And Jack and Sally said, “Justice for Barb!”

It was awesome <3 p="">
The second story happened at Universal Studios. Mate and I went on Jurassic World, and the last part of the ride takes you to a peak, where a T-Rex roars at you from the side and then one jumps at you from the dark, right in front of you, as the ride drops and you hit the water at the bottom.

The ride broke. We were at the top of the peak and the T-Rex jumped out at us and roared and then faed into his little niche, and we were…stuck.

Now, we can’t see in front of us–we assume that we’re CLOSE to the top of the peak, but we’re there long enough to get bored. The T-Rex is roaring and roaring and roaring and roaring and roaring and we’re making Emergency 9-1-1 jokes and and then the ride started moving.

“Yay, we’re mo–“

and the DROP.

Cold. Like, with no adrenaline warning, or happy excitement. We realized the car was moving and we were falling through the air.


Scariest ride I’ve ever fucking been on.

And the last story was at California Adventure–

We were at the ferris wheel– which, I should mention, I love. Mate and Chicken LOATHE this ride. Because the one at Disneyland has two different cars–one just swivels, like a regular car, and the other has a big loop for the car to swing on–it’s terrifying.

Mate was looking at the cars and doing statistics. “Well,” he said in front of the ride operator. “Technically only sixteen of the cars swing.”

The ride operator looks up with a devilish look in his eyes. “Are you sure only sixteen of them swing?”

It was a double entendre, and fortunately, we had time for me to come up with an appropriate response. “Well,” I said, “We may not know how many of them swing, but I do know none of them go both ways.”

He gave me–in Mate’s words–“a proper look”, and Mate and I cackled.

“Hey,” the guy said, still wicked. “I’ve got over here a button that says ‘release’. I push this and…”  His eyes danced. “You all are gonna be living your best lives!”

We cackled some more, and he said thoughtfully, “Actually, that would be sort of horrifying.”

Mate and I nodded–because either meaning of the word “release” and being down below would be a bad idea–and got on the car.

Chicken said later, “You guys should have seen Mom and Dad flirting with the ferris wheel guy. It was EPIC.”

I gotta admit, I took the win.

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