Super Ego: This would be a Christmas story and it shall have a length of approximately 40 K and the central premise is a young man who is trying to believe in goodness and an older man who thinks he doesn’t have any optimism left, and they–
Id: TWO GUYS FUCKING!
SuperEgo: NO! Jesus, they just met, and one is recovering from a car accident and–
Id: LET THEM FUCK LET THEM FUCK LET THEM FUCK!
SuperEgo: We have a plot arc, you irritating sex-addled toddler, now shut up while I–
Id: You can say “cock” in this one.
SuperEgo: We enjoyed the challenge of the category romance.
Id: You can say it more than once. Cock cock cock cock cock cock–
SuperEgo: Only using one word shows lack of imagination.
Id: Penis erection dick!
SuperEgo: If we’re quite done, I can have a civil romance depicting the healing force of two men in a Florida condo–
Ego: Can one of them be terminal with something that hurts a lot?
SuperEgo: NO!
Ego: Please? Like, three year ebola or something.
SuperEgo: There’s no such thing. And even if there was, it’s so rare we’d be crucified. Now just let me indulge in some banter–
Ego: The other one needs to be damaged. Multiple personality disorder. A PARENT ABOUT TO KICK THE BUCKET!
SuperEgo: NO! For sweet fuck’s sake, this is just two guys working shit out!
Id: TWO GUYS FUCKING, DAMMIT! THAT’S ALL WE NEED!
Ego: WITH COLOSTOMY BAGS! WHILE ON THE PHONE TO THEIR SHRINK!
SuperEgo: OH MY FUCKING GOD! YOU! ID!
Id: Yessssss?
SuperEgo: If–and only if– you shut the hell up while I write some goddamned plot, I’ll let you watch some porn later.
Id: Can it be THREE guys fucking?
SuperEgo: It can be whatever you find on pornhub. My treat.
Id: Okay. I’m just gonna go thumb through your best sex scenes from the last fifteen years while you try to work but I’ll shut up until then.
SuperEgo: Thank you.
Id: EAT SOME CHOCOLATE YOU PORN WATCHING WHORE!
SuperEgo: *mouth full* Dank boo.
Id: Mmm… fingering is my FAVORITE. And then some sucking… and some fucking… and then some coming… EAT MORE CHOCOLATE!
SuperEgo: Go away until I’m done!
Ego: What about me? Did you see this Google search on diseases that still kill people like they did in Brian’s Song?
SuperEgo: Look. You’re not the Id. I can bargain with you a little. I know you want to cry–
Ego: Happy, you bitch. You haven’t ripped anyone’s spleen out for three books!
SuperEgo: But I’ve got Bobby Green coming. You’re leafed through my brain cells. You’ve read the docket. You know what’s coming.
Ego: You’d better not pull your punches.
SuperEgo: Bitch, I’ve got plans.
Ego: Fine. I’m going to be looking up statistics on child abuse– you enjoy your chocolate and your porn, because you and me have a date.
SuperEgo: Okay, so we’ve got the two guys, they’re being snarky, it’s a rain storm–
Id: *whispers* two guys fucking
SuperEgo: And we’re not going for the easy fuck here and they’re dealing and it’s real life–
Ego: *whispers* pregnant ex wife
SuperEgo: And they’re doing the amicable divorce thing and she looks a little more human and the guys are snuggling and they’re hot and–
Oh. Fuck it all.
It’s time to blog, isn’t it.
Id: Let’s go to sleep and dream of two guys fucking!
Ego: Let’s go obsess about all the bad stuff that can happen to people you love!
SuperEgo: Godammit. A Christmas novella. One simple Christmas novella. *yawn* God knows that those two assholes will write when I”m asleep.
