ZoomBoy Grows Taller

Busy weekend!

Chicken’s birthday was today, but we had a family dinner at Wong’s which is sort of tradition. I surprised Chicken with clothes and pie, but her real present was concert tickets, and she texted me from the event and it sounded like she had fun.

Anyway– we had to do the dinner on Friday because she had the concert today (her actual birthday) and ZoomBoy had the Homecoming dance last night.

Now, here’s the thing.

Mate and I–eternally shy, Mate and I–didn’t come even close to having the social life this boy has.

He asked a girl to the dance–and got a “soft no”–she wasn’t going period, but she was very flattered to be asked. So he asked me for money (and he does anything we ask around here, so I was glad to give it) and bought his ticket, and then asked politely for us to go shopping.

“For what?” I asked.

“AAA batteries and deodorant.”

Hahahahaha… like any woman with a kid going to a dance and another kid having a birthday and another kid just cheerfully along for the ride ever just walked into Target and bought batteries and deodorant.

I mean we bought the batteries–and the Desperado scented Old Spice (and just look at the picture–I could have gotten him BearGlove and HawkRidge and still not scratched the surface of the Old Spice imprint insanity) but we also got  ZoomBoy some slick new “school dance” clothes.

Oh–and we got Chicken an Eeyore union suit and Squish… well, a unicorn.

Unicorn pajamas.

Because, seriously.

But anyway– Chicken was watching ZoomBoy and Squish on Homecoming dance night while we took in a movie and dinner for our birthdays. (Mate is going to be gone next weekend, and I shall be turning fifty alone… aloooooooooone…. ALLLLOOOOOOOOOONE….)  and that was all planned.

PLANNED I tell you, PLANNED, a week ago, right down to me texting two different times to people for Chicken’s birthday dinner because we hadn’t counted on Homecoming, THAT kind of planned.

What we didn’t plan for was the morning before Homecoming, Mate knocked on the kitchen door with stuff on his hands, and ZoomBoy went TEAR-ASSING THROUGH THE KITCHEN, skidded his foot on a mat on the tile, and landed on his ass.

You heard me.    

The day of the dance, my kid sprained his ass.

Mate thought it was just a deep bruise, but judging by his troll-like walk I assessed it as sciatica, and it persisted in spite of icing, medication, and lots of sciatica stretches, because it was a REALLY HARD FALL.

So, he didn’t plan for spraining his ass.

And honestly, he didn’t plan for the tie, either. The tie was definitely a surprise. Big T sent me the pictures, and I said, “We decided to find the tie?” and ZB said, “Yes. Because I wanted a tie.” “You couldn’t have told me about the tie at Target so I could have gotten one that matched?” “I like that tie.”  “Okay.”

So, two unplanned things for Homecoming.

This morning, as he was online, gaming with his younger friends, I heard the following conversation:

“So, I fell down yesterday and broke my butt. No, seriously. Broke it. Tell ’em, Mom!”

“He fell down and sprained his ass! How old are your friends?”

“Eight. They’re dad’s friends’ kids.”

“Oh aces.”

“So I did! I broke my butt and then I went to homecoming. And I danced. No, seriously. I slow danced. With a girl. Uh-huh. It’s totally true.”

So there you go. That’s our ZoomBoy–getting a little bit older, and a little bit taller.

And spraining his ass and wearing a tie.

He might still need me for a little bit. Just saying.

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