Italian on the Patio

We went to my grandparents today to celebrate my grandmother’s birthday–it was a nice day, although I felt like quite the slacker–my aunts and uncle handled everything from my mother’s transportation to Olive Garden take-out on their porch. All I had to do was show up and let the kids be cute–wow, that was a stretch!!!

It’s hard in a way, because the Time Bitch has been very busy among my grandparents–I mean, if I’m pushing 40 fast and they didn’t marry until right after WWII, well, I have no idea how old they are, but I have such a different picture in my head. Grandma was always this stunning and small Italian woman–very graceful and commanding at once. That’s what I see in my head when I look at her, and my eyes are always surprised that she doesn’t look like what I remember from when I was thirteen. Grandpa too–you had to see pictures of the both of them in their youth, but grandpa was drop dead gorgeous–a photographer (and we’ve always suspected, a spy) in WII and Korea he’s survived 5 precocious children, four plane crashes, and is on his second brain tumor. The Time Bitch again–she just won’t leave a handsome young couple be. (I really wish she’d leave Grandpa’s ears alone, too, because mine are going to be just like them when I’m older, and they’re going to start flapping one day and take him away from all this, I just know it.) Mate, being perhaps the best Mate in the world, let me socialize and he, holding Adorable Infant, sat himself across from the grandparents and let them look at her. Grandpa had four daughters…he’s drawn to a baby girl the way a baby girl is attracted to a kitty cat, and I think it did his heart good to look his fill.

Anyway…must change subject before I get too melancholy–some people do that in the fall, but my melancholy season is spring…don’t know why…maybe I’m just perverse that way. But, change the subject I will…

Roxie asked me what I was knitting–it’s the stars and moon baby blanket from the Zoe Mellor book–I sort of amped up the colors a little bit, because I just can’t do blue on blue on blue. I like it, but I was right about hating intarsia like the fucking rainbow plague of rabid death by the time I was done. Man–I could have had it so easy…I had this lovely, expensive acryllic yarn that (get this) self-stripes…I could have done a feather and fan and been over it by now, but nooooo…I had to ask Mate’s opinion, and then privately agree with him, and then not complain about “Crap-all, is it not like I have enough to freakin’ do?” I’m a moron–everybody agrees I’m a moron!!

A friend called me up today–she was so adorable, I couldn’t hardly stand it–she wanted me to look over her letter of inquiry and one-page synopsis to present her completed mansucript to a book agent. I was so tickled–I mean, it’s not like I’ve had ANY luck at all in that department–and I just sent something out last week, too. They’re supposed to have a one week turnaround–who wants to start the betting pool for when I hear back. I get dibbs on “If Ever!”

I was going to post pictures, but blogger is not responding (ShhhhhoccccckkkkkkkEEERRRRR!!!!) Anyway, I’ve got a question for anybody with an answer…

I’m thinking of new, effortless ways to promo the books…Lady in Red is willing to help me with a web site (since Mate has sort of decided his job as a Troll Druid named Marsha is needed to advance the Horde Interests in the Burning Crusade) but other than that, I need something that will take zero money and less time… I’m starting to feel self-conscious about making lists…I mean, I wasn’t exactly (I know this is hard to tell by the amount of them) all excited about self-promotion in the first place…but…well…I’m stumped. I mean, self-promotion is something that sort of needs to be done gracefully, and you may or may not have noticed, NOTHING about me, either in print or in life or even in yarn, is particularly graceful. I swear to the twin gods of compassion and honor and the Goddess of joy, taking my books and walking them into the local used book store pretty much used up all of my fronting chutzpah for this span of months. But on the other hand, I have the feeling more people would read my books if they knew about them, and I’m rapidly losing faith in that whole “legitimate world of publishing” chimera that most writers spend their time chasing…

So I don’t know. And it’s not even that I hate my job so much anymore…(I don’t…I’m starting to rev up some enthusiasm for it, in fact…even if they take AP away from me, well, it could have been done better on everybody’s part, but, seriously, like I need one more freakin’ stress-meatball on my pasta-plate of wackiness, really. Besides. I still know I’m the best person for the job.) It’s just that I’m finally getting a little faith in myself…just a little. I’m finally getting some faith that my writing has resonance and reason and rhyme and all that shit that makes reading someone worthwhile. Maybe it’s the writer’s holy grail to share that wine of philosophical immortality with the world. Don’t quote me on that–I don’t want to remember that I ever said anything that pompous, ever.

But if you have any ideas, let me know.

0 thoughts on “Italian on the Patio”

  1. Netter says:

    About the Spring melancholy, Eliot did name April as the cruelest month…

  2. roxie says:

    Look at my forehead. See all these bruises? I have been beating my face on the keyboard for months trying to figure a cash-free means of self-promotion. I can tell you for sure, beating your face on the keyboard is NOT the way to go.

    Do you know anyone who has done e-books? Maybe THAT’s an option.

    If I ever get a radio interview, I will for sure use two minutes to mention, “IF you like vampire romance, you will LOVE Amy Lane’s book, “Wounded.” And once you have read “Wounded,” you will want to get “Vulnerable,” and “Bound.” It’s very juicy, riveting reading!” reading.

    I am taking Sanna to yarn stores and asking them to carry it on comission. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

    Hey, people who read Amy’s blog. You need to read “Sanna, Sorceress Apprentice,” by Roxanna Matthews. Available on Amazon. It’s not a sexy as Amy’s stuff, but it has more knitting.

  3. Louiz says:

    How about a website? you could put all sorts, and maybe post patterns from the books (written by you? or fans who can design patterns?) on somewhere like

    Blogger is still messing me about, so I will have to try posting from work tomorrow, which is always a tricky thing. Why it works from work but not from home I don’t know. All I can say is: Bound is fantastic, I loved it, you have a wonderful and brilliant mind.

    If it helps at all, I read your comments on Julie’s blog, started reading your blog, and then decided that I would like to read your books – maybe that’s the way to go?

  4. Amy Lane says:

    (Louiz liked my bo-ok, Louiz liked my bo-ok;-)

    And thanks for the suggestions, guys–I’m thinking the website is the way to go… (with, of course, a link to my good friend Roxie’s wonderful, sweet, and colorful fantasy, Sanna, Sorcerer’s Apprentice:-)

    And I’d forgotten that quote from Eliot–April is, indeed, the cruelest month…except during Adorable Infant’s 1st b-day…then it’s just wonderful:-)

  5. Catie says:

    crap, is wounded the first one? No, the book on says that vulnerable is the first. Amy did I F*&k up and get the second book before the first? Here is my oppinion – a website is the way to go. You can give a nice synopsis of the story – like the back cover but without the word limit. You could link the website to the books. It would be good for promotion to agents. And you could put up the first chapter, or first page on the website even. If you have some short stories, don’t know if you have any, you could also post those as free ones – like the eharlequin online reads. You could link to the promo website to this blogger (if you keep blogger and don’t switch over to something else when you get a website) and vice versa like Julie has done with her etsy site. I bought your book not knowing what was gonna happen in it – still don’t damn you school for taking up all my time – somehow I missed the whole vampire part and just got the romance with a twist part. Which is fine but I wouldn’t have bought the book without the reviews and reading this blog – just sayin’.

    those are my thoughts, but without the head banging on keyboard. Take em or leave em I just hope you self promote.

  6. Amy Lane says:

    Damn, girl–those are a lot of great ideas! I’ll knock them around with Mate a time or two, and we’ll see what we can do! (No, you didn’t @#$% up–Vulnerable, Wounded, Bound:-)

  7. Louiz says:

    Have a look at Kelley Armstrong’s website. That’s pretty good, and offers all sorts for listers.

    If you want, I’ll dig out my old testbooks and email you some stuff that might help (then again, it’s rather old so it might not)…

    And I’ve posted how much I loved bound (erm… from work).

    And I’ll have a look at Roxie’s book next time I order from Amazon too!

  8. Have you seen Romancing the Yarn? It shouldn’t be that hard to make a web site with the same theme. And lucky you… you know someone who has a web server… and is willing to work out trades.

  9. I know several people who have used this site:
    to make web pages for their businesses. It seems fairly easy to navigate and use. There is a free version that gives you limited editing capabilities, but it may be enough for your purposes. If you want to check out their pages, I’ll send you the links.
    And we can do the myspace page as soon as you’d like. That’s really easy.

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