First of all, we determined Squish had allergies–so the birthday party was a go. Thing is, if we had put off the party from this weekend, she would have been celebrating her birthday around May 15th, and that would have majorly sucked. The snot wasn’t communicable, we pumped her full of Sudafed–it’s the American way.
The list of activities included: karaoke, video games, playing with Monster High dolls, putting on makeup, watching 80’s movies, eating pizza, eating chips, eating pancakes, running around screaming, Truth or Dare, and staying up way later than the adults
It was a BIG birthday– let’s stick to the highlights, shall we?
* If you ever get a karaoke program with little girls, be prepared to hear “Let it Go” and “All About that Bass” until you need–NEED–to throw up.
* When your adult son gets hold of the karaoke machine and picks “American Pie” which is the WORLD’S LONGEST SONG, remember what his sister said at the closing notes. “Oh my God. That song is over.” Because sometimes the kindest thing to say is the obvious.
* When a mother asks you if her son can stay to play with your son, and then says, “Oh, here’s an epi-pen because he’s allergic to peanuts,” it’s a perfectly acceptable response to grab the trail mix on the table and shove it in the back counter and start to read ALL THE LABELS because administering an epi-pen is terrifying and you don’t want someone else’s child to swell up and stop breathing on your watch.
* But it’s also nice to be told that your son is fun to play with and good with children and that this mother really enjoys having her kid play with yours.
* When your friend brings her boyfriend over and he ends up talking with your twenty-something son for most of the night, it’s appropriate to thank her for doing that–it was like a playdate for grownups.
* “Let it Go” is a hella annoying song the fifteenth or hundredth time around.
* If ants are discovered in the room where everybody was supposed to sleep, it’s fine if they all move the air mattresses into the front room. They have more access to the leftover chips that way, and God knows you want that shit gone when you wake up.
* The small vicious dogs will exhaust themselves with barking–and trying to herd all their new people BACK into the house when they attempt to leave.
* The last thing you want to hear when you have everybody settled down to watch a movie after hours of frenetic activity is “My mom doesn’t let me watch those kinds of movies,” during Sixteen Candles. Damn you 80’s movie gratuitous boob shot, what are you even doing in that movie?
* Blueberry pancakes are a great idea for breakfast. Because blueberries are the closest thing to health food you’ve had in two days.
* Having Mate hide in your bedroom (the one non-straightened room in the great housecleaning blitz) to watch basketball isn’t a cop out on his part, it’s a brilliant strategy for having a place to send stressed family members (including birthday girls) when their inner introvert feels a bit trampled by all the people.
* Don’t tell Mate that or he’ll regret cleaning the kitchen in apology for bailing on all the people.
* Apologize to the cat chewing a hole in his side because of all the people. Even if it’s the cat that hates your guts, you didn’t mean to stress him out.
* Be grateful for parents who pick their offspring up on time. Bless them.
* Love your Mate
* Expect to sleep. All day. A lot. And to go through motrin like candy because of the headache. And all the peopling. And the lack of sleep.
* Be glad. Because your daughter is happy, and her 11th birthday was a success. She was surrounded by friends and family who loved her and she got to play at all the things she loves. Be glad because your family all came together to make the day special–even your older daughter’s best friend brought a gift, and Berry Jello and Ambrosia came and were kind and generous and happy.
And your family is growing up–has grown up so fast. And I love them so much. Our Squishy is such a lovely young woman, smart and funny and brilliant and her friends are kind.
Squishy, my Squishy– you are my beautiful baby, my amazing child. You are my funny companion in the morning and the clever book club member in my afternoon. I never had a plan when I was bearing my children–all of their personality, their humanity, came as happy revelations. But if I could have thought so far, dared so high, as to imagine the most perfect Squishy, you still would have surpassed my wildest dreams.