“So what can I do for you?” “A layered bob.” I have no idea what that means, but 6/10 times it gets me a hair cut I don’t want to attack with pinking shears. “Okay, we’ll do a little texturizing–“ “BY ALL THAT’S HOLY DON’T TOUCH THOSE WEIRD SCISSORS!” “Okay, okay–touch-ee! How do you propose… Read More

 I sang my pain into the ether Disgusted by my whine My troubles are so tiny Not worth sorry, not worth time Tell your troubles to the river The river carries on People have their own loads It’s important to keep calm But I had a moment’s weakness (Let’s face it–there’s been more) And I… Read More

 Knees ache. Fingers ache. Today I could actually hear my crepitus  echo. And we all know what happened in the Supreme Court. Fuckers. So Mate is pulling me out of my chair because I can’t make it without help at the moment, and he says, “This is the last time for the night, right?” And… Read More